Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Mr. Smooth's Social Icebreakers


Walking into a room full of strangers and making small talk used to intimidate me, but not anymore. My big breakthrough came when I discovered that the key to converting social affairs from rituals of torture to opportunities for enrichment is mastering that pivotal moment of first impression: the opening icebreaker.

After conducting a program of comprehensive, field-tested research (I attended a networking cocktail hour one night), I've compiled the following list of surefire icebreakers to smooth the way to meaningful connections.
  • Hi. I was hit by lightning once. You?
  • Hi. I know all the words to Freddie "Boom boom" Cannon's 1959 hit "Tallahassee Lassie." Wanna hear?
  • Hi. I'm lactose intolerant, but I'm making progress. I used to be lactose hostile.
  • Hi. Excuse me for staring. But you remind me of someone I used to stare at.
  • Hi. Did you ever have that dream where you jump off a bridge naked and land in the middle of a financial planning class at a community college just as the instructor points to you and says "Tell us why the Roth IRA is the right IRA!"?
  • Hi. If I knew you were going to undress me with your eyes, I would have worn a better pair of underwear.
  • Hi. Whaddaya say we storm that fancy-schmancy buffet table like coyotes on trash night?
Go in well-armed with potent conversation-starters like these, and you're a good bet to blow by social jitters and enjoy a pleasurable give-and-take.

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